Crazy Sentences

Dan: I choked on my science teacher because the voices told me to.

Sherree: I kicked my science teacher because I'm sexy and do what I want.

Pick the month you were born in

January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I smoked
April--I dry humped
May--I choked on
June--I murdered
July--I did the Macarena with
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on

1--a birdbath
2--a monster
3--a phone
4--a fork
5--a Mexican
6--a gangster
7--my cell phone
8--my dog
9--my best friends' boyfriend
10--my neighbor
11--my science teacher
12--a banana
13--a fireman
14--a stuffed animal
15--a goat
16--a pickle
17--your mom
18--a spoon
19--myself
20--a baseball bat
21--a ninja
22--Chuck Norris
23--a noodle
24--a squirrel
25--a football player
26--my sister
27--my brother
28--an iPod
29--a permanent marker
30--a llama
31--a homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

White--because I'm cool like that.
Black--because that's how I roll.
Pink--because I'm NOT a homosexual.
Red--because the voices told me to.
Blue--because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green--because I hate myself.
Purple--because I'm cool.
Gray--because I was drunk.
Yellow--because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange--because I hate my family.
Brown--because I was high.
Other--because I'm a ninja.
None--because I cant control myself.

What is your crazy sentence?